You lust and do not have, so you commit murder. And you are envious and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives, so that you may spend what you request on your pleasures. James 4:2-3
From a child’s first scream, “mine!” when someone takes a toy to the tantrum that comes right after hearing “no,” we are consumed with what we want from an early age. But we are often not much different as we mature into adults. The conflict may look different, but the heart issue stays the same. We naturally think in terms of what we want, and we go to great lengths to get our way, even when it means sinning or hurting others. Like a fish only knows life in the water, this is the life we know. We struggle to address our hurts in any other way than taking matters into our own hands. This is why James presents a new way forward: involving God.
Bringing God in is more than just asking Him to get our way; it is bringing Him in because we trust, at the end of the day, He is all we need, and He can address the biggest and smallest conflicts we face. Bringing Him in also requires us to embrace humility and admit that our sin has clouded our view, so we need to look to Him for direction. The question for a Christian is: Will we trust God more than we trust our instincts to always pursue our own desires? Will we lay our desires down and trust that He truly knows what is best in the end? He does and He will guide us if we seek Him in those moments.
- What are some of the ways your selfishness has contributed to conflict in the past? What lengths have you gone to get your way?
- How have you seen the pattern James wrote about play out in real life? What are the ways you have fallen into this pattern?
- Pray and ask God to address the sin in your heart and help you repent of selfishness.
